Here’s a fun list I’ve compiled: complaints disguised as questions. These questions are not really questions, that is, requests for information. They are a non-direct way to make a point, make an accusation, or make a not-so-subtle dig.
“Why did you do that?”
“Are you going to change?”
“Are you trying to drive me crazy?”
“Will you ever close that door?”
“Were you planning on ever telling me that news?”
“Are you going to leave the fridge door open forever?”
“Is it impossible for you to focus on me just for once?”
“Do you have to drive so fast? “
“Do you think I’m made of money?”
“When were you planning on picking up your socks?”
“How am I supposed to get my work done with you making all that noise?”
Using questions to make a point is not recommended. They are provocative, non-direct, and—to use an old fashioned word—smarmy.
Just for fun catch yourself disguising your complaints as questions and reword them so you make a direct assertion.
Instead of, “Were you born in a barn?” say, “Please wipe up your mess.”
Instead of, “Do I have to do everything myself?” say, “I need some help, please.”
Instead of, “Do you enjoy bugging me?” say, “I feel angry right now.”
Instead of, “Aren’t you ready yet?!” say, “It’s time to leave or we’ll be late.”
Instead of, “Are you sure?” say, “I have an opinion on this that is different than yours.”
You get the idea.
(Photo credit: Horia Varlan’s photostream)